Right now, I can hear Ryan talking to his ex-girlfriend on the phone. They broke up recently because she’s in Florida and he’s here in Wisconsin. Another long-distance relationship. Sound familiar? Yeah, they never work. I don’t know how or why I convinced myself to be in one…especially for so long…when I knew all along it wouldn’t work. Silly me.
Anyways, it’s sad listening to his side of the conversation.
He wants nothing more than to just be with her. Not to have any kind of label saying they are together, but to just be within a close proximity. Few things feel worse than to be away from the person (or people) you love. Your relationship cannot mature; it plateaus. Your “in-depth” conversations can only go so far because you can’t connect with the person on the physical level. I don’t mean touching necessarily, there is a sense of being physically around someone that has an impact on conversation and relational development. And then if you’re like me, your love language heavily revolves around physical touch. I MUST touch people. It sounds weird for those who aren’t wired like that, but it’s a necessity for those who are. This being one of the many problems of my ended relationship…she had an touch aversion that put a HUGE dampener on “us.” When I first realized it, red flags shot up everywhere. But being me, I wanted to ignore it. I couldn’t. I can’t. I show and receive love through touch. I need it.
Ryan does as well. He is a very caring, kind-hearted guy who will hug you at any time of the day (he sort of has to be too, he’s going into elementary education). He NEEDS his woman (not necessarily this girl) to be around. That’s why this girl isn’t working out. He needs her around for this to work out. I’ve known him for a few years now and I know when he is hurting. His voice changes. Whenever he talks about her, his voice subtly changes. And when he talks to her, like he is now, his voice gives off a seemingly fake sense of happiness. He really IS happy to talk to her, but I can tell it hurts him more than it is helping him.
It sounds like she is telling him that she’s going to visit.. She only visited 1 time last year. He went to Florida about 12 times last year. She says like, “I’m too busy” and “It’s too cold up there.”
HA! Sounds familiar again. Another red flag for me. “Too cold” is the worse excuse. If you want to see someone, you make sacrifices. ugh… She won’t come at all. I can tell.
I just want to go hug him 😦
And then the other day, I came home from class and noticed Drew in a weird mood. I asked what was going on and he told me a friend had died the night before. He had just hung up the phone not long before I got home and heard that his best friend from his 5-month study abroad trip to Japan had died in a car accident. She was hit by a 21-year old drunk driver. This driver, some girl, has a record for driving drunk and getting into trouble. I don’t know if she was hurt or killed though. Just that one of Drew’s good friends is now dead. He didn’t really say much. His facade was that “it sucks and I don’t want to talk to people about it.” But I heard him on the phone that night talking to another one of his friends who knew her and he was very different. His tone of voice and the things he said were drastically different. Even though he spoke differntly to us and his other friend, I can tell he’s still in shock and that he hasn’t fully grasped what’s happened. I don’t blame him. I couldn’t either. He is going to her funeral this weekend, so maybe things will hit home with him by Monday. Ryan and I gave him big hugs.
Andrew is really sick…
Nick is always gone.
Our house is sad 😦
RANDOM post… I know. I just felt like typing