No, I didn’t write this…it’s just some prose that I found-
There is something incredibly appealing about cigarettes. I can’t really explain it, but whenever I see someone leave a restaurant to take a smoke, I feel like they’re superior to me. Anyone that can use a product that has a huge label warning that said product causes lung cancer (subsequently leading to death) and still uses it has balls. I mean, he’s a badass. There’s a social aspect to it, as well. You see, I don’t smoke, I’d never think about smoking, but even I know the rule: If you have a lighter, and are letting someone bum a smoke off of you, you light theirs first. However, if you’re using a match, you light yours first, because there’s a ton of sulfur and shit off that match, and you inhale it rather than them. It’s almost romantic. I’d light a match and light mine first. At first she might think I’m rude, but I’d explain it to her, and she’d thank me for being so thoughtful. And we would both die on the same deathbed, making love like cigarettes. And I take one final drag, and extinguish myself in a brunette ashtray.